THIS WAS A YEAR AGO…
I ‘d been dating someone I met through church for a few months. He was handsome, kind, giving and a spiritual rock…and in many ways he had grown to be my best friend… BUT with all the things he did have what he lacked was commitment.
One night he’d just got done telling me that he wasn’t sure of me, of us, of WHATEVER… but yet he still wanted me to go with him to a special event because he always loved spending time with me and just knew I would have fun.
Basically “I want to break up but just not exactly “right now”…
to be fair — I think his exact words were “I love being with you I’m just not in love with you…but we’re late for this party”.
(And if you’re confused, imagine how I felt!)
I could have said no, I probably should have said no, but of course I was trying to save and stay in what I felt was safe. And also selfishly, if I’m honest, probably in serving my own insecurities wanting to show him he was wrong.
So we went to the event and yes we had fun…(side note: there might be a special place in Heaven for me based solely on my ability to quickly get over things and “do the right thing”)
…but I knew in my heart something was missing.
I mean you know its bad when you take a break and go to the bathroom to call your mom because seriously this is surreal and as you explain the whole tale of events, you hear your dad in the background offering to pay for an uber to drive you over an hour and a half home if you will just make the call to leave…but of course I stayed…plus my car was at his house with my dogs and keys locked inside.
Don’t worry I didn’t stay in the relationship at all after that! (BUT KEEP READING)
If we’re honest though, don’t we ALL have some sort of story were we “settled” just to stay “safe”??
Our dreams should always stay in our strength zone, but will require us to get out of our comfort zone…
AND THAT IS UNCOMFORTABLE!
Why? Because they are MEANT to bring us to unknown spaces.
(and again if we’re honest— isn’t it really because we’re unsure that what we’ll end up getting will actually be better??)
Here’s the problem when we don’t have the faith in the greater AND BETTER vision — we end up mass producing average!
And I can tell you we were not created to be happy in settling for anything less than God’s BEST!
Now I know I already said I got out of the relationship, but read how the night ended up…
At the end of the event they had us all go outside to watch a private concert AND since of course he wasn’t “locked up” with me, I made myself look busy by scrolling through social media on my phone.
As I opened up Instagram a picture of me worshiping with my eyes closed and hand up, came across my phone…and the caption read “God wants to do something incredible in you and through you. Let Him.”
Seriously I promise I couldn’t make this stuff up!
God used this random picture of the crowd taken at church awhile ago, that I just happened to be in and post which was really just intended to encourage others to come to church, to speak DIRECTLY into my heart and remind ME of all that I knew and needed.
Because no matter what lies we tell ourselves, no matter what things we decide to stay in longer than we should, the truth is God came to give us life to the FULL…and it’s our job to stop settling for less.
So here is a mindset shift that I use when something hasn’t quite gone my way…I faithfully (and sometimes starting still slightly unhappily at the time) say literally OUT LOUD :
“Ok God, if not this then I know it’s something BETTER”
Leave a Reply